6.09.2013

Language Barrier....


Well this week started with the husband going offshore, now I remember when  I used to not mind this, no one to cook for - he needs a 2 course meal with some form of meat and half a loaf of bread, I like a dish of cornflakes for tea- and the TV to myself. However now kids are in the mix I really do think on these occasions as well as all school holidays alcohol should be provided on the NHS. The house literally could have been condemned by the time he returned, there was no more than an old jar of pickle some questionable baked beans and a dribble of milk in the fridge; as for ironing, I've decided to just wear things smooth for a while.
 
Not only was I solo but Archie has decided to fully develop his language skills this week, starting with a trip to the GP. He had a nasty left over Chicken pox on his eye so I took him for a check up just to be safe, now as he the very young Dr was concerned he called the RVI for some advice. Whilst quietly on hold someone outside loudly scraped a chair *parhhhp*as soon as the Dr put the phone down Archie leans in and says "I know you have pumped!" So although he has a return check up next week we wont be attending that anymore. This weather has been glorious and we have taking full advantage of it seeing friends in the garden or park, it must be a stage for the boys because all I could hear was poo this and tiddler that, to be honest if I hear another "poo face" I might grow a "tiddler head". Naturally my son being him had to raise the anti by very loudly exclaiming "Oh F*cking Hell my coats stuck" ...now don't get me wrong the air is blue in our house even my 76yr Grandma says the F word but we have been careful around little ears. So I ignored it but when he decided to announce it at nursery pick up and the ground didn't do its part by swallowing me whole the naughty step has been well worn in this week, I just pray it works, although this morning I heard Archie shout IT at his brother and before I could even go through he shouted "I'm on the naughty step Mam"......Hmmmm
 
Oscar isn't one to be outdone though and has been particularly "challenging" this week. Apart from refusing to walk -to be fair he is waited on hand and foot by his big brother so why would he?- and thinking it was hilarious to burst every balloon tipping his head back with an evil laugh at a 1st birthday party, making several other children cry there is also NO limit to what this child will put in his mouth. Crawling faster than light he has this week alone, licked a toilet brush, chewed a pink crayon, eaten 3 handfuls of soil, some grass, petals and several tissues. He also wanted to end the week on a high, so yesterday after he came out of the paddling pool we made the mistake of not putting a nappy back on him while emptying the pool about 2 nano seconds later Archie comes running, "Oscar is eating his own poo!" and yes there he was with fistfuls about the say "Bon Appetite" *Dry heave*
 
I think the week has really taken its toll though or I'm pretty sure I'm getting early onset Alzheimer's after I terrified myself  trying to text a friend the word "Only", I couldn't even think what it looked like never mind spell it "ownelly, ownaly, ownnn", I later was frantically scurrying around in the swimming bag for my shoes "Um the ones you have on?!"... and finally driving to the supermarket without the kids after 20mins (don't worry its not a Jeremy Kyle story) I realised that I didn't  actually have to listen to the Gruffalo audio book. I'm sure some sleep will help but while I'm on can everyone stop trying to spoil "Game of Thrones Finale" I haven't had time to watch it and its on every buggers lips and facebook profile...I know someone crucial has died!!
 
All in all this week has been very enjoyable, its so easy to entertain little ones and for adults to have fun when the weather is good, everything is better when the sun is out-FACT. We have had a few picnics, a lovely little 1st birthday party which I made a Mickey cake for, ice creams, BBQ and a fab day up at the Grandparents who live on the beach; my Granddad really is Archie best bud! Also for the little brothers birthday ( he's 20 but I feel sick as its the first person I have ever said "I remember the day you were born like yesterday") we had a lovely family breakfast at Frankie's and Benny's or as my Grandma calls it "Ben and Jerry's" It must be a tough one though because Archie calls it "Mr Frank and Dennis" either way I think the poor waitress was glad to see the back of us rowdy 12. To be fair we were a bit over excited as my Auntie is an Air Hostess in First Class and last week on her flight to Hong Kong they were told that the entire "British Lions" team were on the board! she got us a fully signed menu and a specially made head rest cover so that's something for the memory box....or Ebay. Oh and best of all I ditched being a Scummy Mummy for a girly night out/catch up with the work girls, aka Slunts...if I tell you why they are called that I will have to kill you!
 
Lets hope the summer lasts.
 
Ash x
 
Best Great Granddad Ever!
 

 
 
 
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Uncle Pip.
 
 
 
 
 
  

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