As you can imagine this week has been extra crazy and stressful which I seriously didn't think was even possible in our house hold, and truthfully several times I thought my nose might just start to randomly bleed or MTV might could call to offer us a show, it was so ridiculous and at one particular moment I was hoping to experience my first seizure just so I could lie down without being bothered or asked for something.
Now one of the nice things about Chris starting a new job is he had this week off with us, I'm thinking he isn't as glad anymore but welcome to my world Babe! It really has been the best thing that could happen to our marriage because he gets to see what " The Brothers Grim" are really like when he is off work but he is usually gone by 7am, so he misses Oscars new trick of free falling out of his highchair (the reigns are broken) 8 times before we have even made weetibix and Archie's 3341 questions before the toast has even popped. Then when he returns at 6ish he is fun time Frankie, the kids are sick to death of my very face so he is God and isn't bath and bedtime the best part of the day anyway?! So he hasn't always understood why I'm ageing faster than a peeled banana and more sarcastic than Jack Dee....until now.
It started with the stress of all stress....Dolly the Caravan. We decided to take her away for few nights proper family time, so got her out of storage cleaned up and packed which took a few hours, then the husband realised her battery was dead! Now this is fine while your away but it means the mover doesn't work which if you don't know is the most amazing thing; it makes the caravan remote control. I can hear you experienced Vanners scoffing because you will be able to park your caravan without one but WE can't yet, so imagine filling your car with bricks, taking of the hand break and trying to move it off the drive, turn it around and park it etc. So at 11am we weren't going anymore...then we were bickering and Archie wanted to go so finally decided at 4pm to go, after pulling Dolly off the drive, she came rolling off faster than Usain Bolt smacked me into the road (don't even know why I got the front!)and missed the neighbours wall by 2inchs, we then got going to the lakes...I just walked off the internal bleeding. After a huge traffic jam, stopping for petrol and food...yeah we are that organised...we arrived at about 7pm, got Dolly parked 1st time, unpacked, there was 8 little boys playing on the green in front so didn't even see Archie's dust and I could just about taste the wine when the heavens opened for Monsoon. It was typical but the best was yet to come when I took Oscar inside and realised there was rain ..inside... Looked up and the sun roof had blown clean off somewhere on the M6! After a lot of pan holding, towels, bin bags and tape it wasn't holding so we had to pack up and come home.... 6hr round trip, Archie was hysterical and we were up a ladder at midnight with a Paddling pool and bricks; Just found out its £470 to fix as well!
My particular favourite moment though was only last night and it wouldn't have been nearly as perfect if he hadn't had the week in "tot-centration camp" first but he was ironing his shirt to go out -previously a bone of contention anyway "why can't you just iron while the kids play quietly"...I will if that ever happens, promise- and Oscar god love him decided to show Daddy exactly why by firstly violently rocking the ironing board, then getting bored he started pulling the iron wire nearly doing that scene from "Home Alone" and finally when he seemed to calm down Chris started to happily iron shirt only to realise that Oscar was sat below wiping his nose on the pocket and chewing the other sleeve...I thought Chris might cry for 2nd time in his life he he heeee. I really cant remember Archie being like this, if there's a pile of new toys on the right and a pile of sweets on the left and somewhere in the house a knife is hidden Oscar is going for the knife, it's so bad we have had to childproof the utility room and buy a baby gate to go over the door so we now have a little cage of sorts to put him in for shower times etc.
It hasn't been all bad though, we did manage to have a very nice day at Beamish largest Museum in the country if you didn't know, even if Archie wasn't that impressed and kept asking "Is this it?!" He did perk up when we went into the Mine though shooting his hand up and asking in front of a crowd "Where you go for a poo?!"
To be continued.......
Not sure who this gate is for cos the "Mam" only looks 12!
Best part of the day, Lunch!
Amen Sister, see real Mams have been around for years!