No Smoke....Texas life.

I cant quite believe we have been here over a week but at the same time the "The Epic Journey" seems like last year...it's still like labour though, fresh in my mind and I don't ever want to do it again. We are starting to settle in, for the husband I think its just like home as he is grafting so much, but for us its been ALL new. We haven't had anytime to tan with these two nutters trying to kill themselves at every turn so I decided to use some fake tan...as per I've totally over done it but it was really highlighted when we went to the mall and I was asked to do a survey. The man asked me a series of questions and then suspiciously eyed me up and said "Your Caucasian right Ma'am?!" so I have even changed nationality's this time...yes I'm half Umpa-Lupa. I'm not alone in the cosmetic stakes though Oscar really needs a haircut, we have been avoiding it as I don't think his curls will come back but he has been mistaken for a girl 5 times now, so before I hear another "She's so cute" he will be getting the chop, it has generally been a week of ups and downs though.
  • The building had a Fire Alarm test which I got a little email warning us about, no problem "beep beep" for a minute right? Wrong! Picture: Its 9am, we are all a bit jet lagged and still in our PJ's, Oscar has gone down for a nap, Archie is having breakfast and I'm in the shower washing my HAIR!! All of a sudden a sound so loud it makes you drop to the floor and roll around bursts into our ear drums. Now at first I have forgot/ignored the email and think there is a real fire SH******T what do I do?! I have already told you its like the sodding Cryptonfactor here, so I leap out of the shower, thankfully I was nearly rinsed off *small mercy's* and grabbing a towel I run to the front door. Now there is no smoke (thinking that's got to be a good sign) and there are no people...certainly no one rolling around the floor clawing their face which is what I want to do. Needless to say Archie is panicked, Oscar who was fast asleep has had a full blown heart attack and is purple crying, this sound is everywhere its in the corridor, its coming out of every rooms alarm and there is no where quieter than anywhere else and it's been 10mins now and not stopping?! Fearing for the boys long term hearing ability I grab my useless UK phone and me in a towel and them in scruffy PJ's go onto the patio where, when the door is shut its not quite breaking the sound barrier. I try to ring the husband but it wont allow it, I then Google the reception number and probably by a very expensive satellite call them *I know my organisation skills here are amazing...not* Where I am told "I got an email *so far massively under sold*, and it will be stopping shortly but the Fire Marshall has to come into each apartment to check the alarms"...wait, say what? Apart from the fact the place looks like a fire could have already taken place, we are not even dressed and my hair has now let off it's parachute, honestly, risking burning to death is more appealing than going through this right now. So du na na "Super Mam" skills needed! While the boys pick the flower bush bald *normally banned activity* I open the door, wrapping one arm over my head  and I manage to block both my ears, its still mind blowing but I can walk straight now, I run in and get (mismatched) outfits for us all, chuck anything I can see into the change bag, I quickly make our bed *I'm not an animal* grab the buggy and go back onto the patio. We all got  dressed...yes on the patio, I just tied my soaking mane back and we did a bunk. It was ridiculous, looking like a bunk of hobos I didn't really want to go anywhere but naturally after being boiling hot, the worse rain storm I've seen here decided to happen and we hadn't even reached the end of the street! So we got a bit shopping, post office trip, had some lunch and 2hrs later we returned...the bugger was STILL going off. Luckily our lovely neighbour and her poor little dog were taking refuge at the pool too so we got to know them a bit better and after another 30mins it eventually went off. I got to straighten my hair and we all got dressed properly...true story.  
  • We went out yesterday, Chris left the back door open and Archie left the fridge open...not really sure how either happened but = place like an oven, fridge full of food spoilt (milk was literally as warm as a cup of tea) but luckily no burglary.
  • Then the Condo nearly set on fire when the kettle had an electric fault (Americans don't really do kettles, its all coffee makers so I think a child made this one...or a man) and it wouldn't stop boiling so woke up, it was melted and about to burst into flames?! Luckily the dead cant sleep through the fire system and we have taken it straight back for a new one. 
  • Finally on Saturday we were looking forward to a swanky date night and booked a sitter through an agency here, standing waiting to go out and she didn't turn up! I wouldn't have minded but I had my full face on man. #gutted
  • We have already met some really nice people, most importantly for play date's so that's good; everyone is so friendly.
  • I now have a phone, I just need to work out how to use it.....
  • I know how to get to the big Walmart....love a good Walmart.
  • I have started to drive and although I bomb about in Florida this is literally like Wacky Races here and survival of the most mental. So far no ouchys on the car.... yet.
  • Its so nice to just go to the Park or Pool or sit out and have tea everyday when Chris gets home its a nice lifestyle and the thing I will miss most already.
  • Finally our new team "The Texans" got stuffed obviously that's not good but it was a good little evening....I don't understand it, I just like Margaritas and their leggings.
  • It goes without saying but the Food is...out of this world, a friend of mine who has lived here for a few years now said to be careful because it is sooo easy to put on weight and she is right. Half of me is embracing it but half of me is thinking I wont fit back on the plane!
So busy week and I think along with "Texas Big" I will have to start "I wont fit back on the plane" section of photos as well....
Ash xox 
The nutters.

Not sure if this is against the law but Oscars doesn't like the currency!

"Oscar can I have your Dodo?"...#invisible
Part Umpa Lumpa!

Not posing, death staring Archie spilling his milk AGAIN, look at that Sushi though.
Getting the hang of the chopsticks.

Sort of Oski....

Park at 6.30pm....


Anyone else's child like this....

Lets go Texans!

Texas Big

It was like pushing a Mini Cooper around the shops!

Just some marshmallows...

We will never fit back on the plane.

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