Would you though?
Have your children ever been so naughty and or spoilt, that you want to do this?
I think my children completely qualify already this year and I don’t mean the entire year, that would be unfair. When any parenting book out there will tell you once said child has apologised, you have to forgive and forget, even if the permanent marker on several surfaces and THAT trip to soft play mid July still hurt's my eyes to even think about.
No I mean right now. As in the past few days and weeks.
I had been under the assumption that the very threat of Santa…who I may have whipped out in September a few times but lets not split hairs.. would have the boys being positively angelic or even Barry the Elf who is “TELLING SANTA EVERYTHING!!” would have them at least minding their manners, not trashing the toy room and back chat free for the month.
...No though! And excuse me but WTF?!
I remember my Childhood Christmas’s so well it really was the best time of year and I truly believed that if I wasn't a “Good Girl” Santa would not ‘Have been’ Even my brother normally a complete monster, climbing the drain pipe to sit.on.our.victorian.house.roof and setting fires in the garden…thankfully now 28 and a 6ft5 lump he's almost grown out of that, but even he was brushing his teeth extra hard, refraining from giving my Barbie's a hair cut and eating all his greens no complaints.
Not our kids though. It’s tantrums every few minutes it seems, constant bickering, “I want this and THAT”, getting up earlier than ever and literally like they are stone cold deaf when me or the husband are talking. Its “Is it Christmas yet?!” every second of the day...”Look at your calendar” *Its LITERALLY the only advantage of the torturous bloody device. However I turned my back on Saturday and they demolished all the chocolates... To be fair if I had to say one more time “Only ONE door per day” I would have dusted them too. So that’s, that problem solved.
As I sat in restaurant a few days ago with a purple Oscar under one arm, having wrestled him away from rugby tackling their tree and Archie crying because he couldn't pull another cracker. I thought “What are we doing here?!” I also suddenly remembered despite our magical Christmas Day it was like this last year! I now distinctly recall an EMERGENCY letter from Santa the week before Christmas eve, telling the boys to basically *ad-libbing now* Stop being little shits, please behave like nice children so "Santa" can give you the presents you have asked for and not have to stand in Smyths returns que for hours in January...
That's one of the worst parts actually that we are not even at the Electronic's or REALLY expensive stage of Christmas, where older kids want Kindles, Designer Clothes and Mac Make up age 9...so I've heard. Our's only want Colouring pens, sweets and tat...maybe that's why they are being horrible the 'Carrot' isn't big enough....or maybe Christmas is completely different now and in my opinion a bit ruined. For a start even though we have tried to avoid it the kids will have seen Santa about 9 times, one even popped out at us walking round the Supermarket. I'm suspicious never mind the kids....
It starts in October not the 1st of December, Calendar's with chocolate or presents in each day...I may have sent the husband links for Benefit and Jo Malone ones but that's not the point I'm being good. I remember being so happy just to open a cardboard calendar though, double door on Christmas eve. Eek. People now spending money the don't have for just one day. 'Black Friday'...vomit. Driving all over on Christmas Day to see everyone you know and keep it 'fair'?!...We used to just have dinner with our family. The end....Well after the Queens speech, Trival Pursuit and then a disco nap.
Its too much sweets, excitement and over anticipation so for now our tree is sitting in the garage as the kids think we cancelled it because while we were picking it....as a nice happy normal family. Pah! They hid in a pile of trees for 20 mins stealth mode and apart from being super dangerous, as per the lecture off the tree man but we thought they had been kidnapped. The little darlings also have exactly 5 days to have a personality transplant or I'm selling our premium Polar Express tickets....Go from there.
I spoke to a lady in the post office and she swore her parents cancelled Christmas one year in the 70s, it was a combination of factors like her Dads poor health therefore money was tight but the Mum believed they were getting too spoilt and said "You will live" I also remember my Granddad telling me that after the war all he got was a Banana and it made him cry with joy!
I don't know if I could cancel the Big guy though....