8.28.2013

Cornwall #Praa Sands

I returned on Saturday from our holiday to Cornwall, now I didn't just decide to go there because let me tell you from the "Toon" on any form of transport it is at least 9hrs+ however this isn't the first time I've been to Cornwall in fact despite being able to get to Dubai quicker I've lost count how many times I have been on holiday here and let me tell you why. 
It all started when my Granny and Grandpa took their 5 small children in 1968 to Cornwall on holiday, specifically a gorgeous place called Praa Sands just outside of Penzance, they stayed for 2 weeks in a beach house and loved it. It was so popular that the next year my Granny (Josephine) invited her Sister (Anthea) along with her husband and their 5 children. They continued to go to Cornwall each summer as the children grew into teens, got married and eventually the next generation came along. Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Friends and Pets have come and gone in fact I would go as far as to say that at some point everyone has brought "an outsider" along at least once the more the merrier and this same two weeks in August, now a tradition is in its 45th year.
I remember the first year I went to Cornwall as a little girl, after such a long train journey and to see palm trees it didn't feel like Britain at all but some exotic land, I kept asking "Are we still in England though?!". Over the years there are some other traditions/rules that are now standard to the annual trip too though:
1. Everyone must stub their toe or at least get a knee scrape or get a bruise. It happens without fail to everyone.
2. There must be one drama every year, from Fainting to Glandular Fever its all happened here.
3.It will rain at least one day if not all week if your unlucky.
4.If you have taken your A levels or GCSEs you will always get your results in Cornwall, thankfully it has upgraded from a letter 5 days after they were released, to walking to the Phone box to have them read to you (me) to now they are on line at precisely 6.03am!
5. Someone *Not always but usually under 10* will have an enormous tantrum for no reason now know as a "Beach Bolsh"...of course Archie got this years prize!
6. You will buy a wet suit, you start off thinking the sea wont be that cold but then you buy one.
7. Recently a competition will evolve on who has less phone signal...honestly don't know how Cornish people live?!
Its all part of the fun though and it cant be that bad either because as I said its the 45th year and this year I counted 52 of us, 4 dogs over 7 houses, 1 tent and 1 chalet! There is defiantly a North vs. South divide on Cornwall though being that everyone from Newcastle I have mentioned where we are off to, said "I would love to go there but its so far away" and everyone I know from the South has been to the "British Riviera" several times and are well versed in "Changeover day", "Weaver Fish" and "Cornish Weather". Its a great place to holiday though and if you can bare the journey then its worth it, Over the years we have visited other areas like Newquay, Padstow, St Ives, Lands End etc and its all just as nice; Cream Teas, Fantastic Beach's, Cornish Heritage, Amazing Seafood what's not to like?
This year I left it a bit late to get a house rental (I do this every year because of Chris's work and then beg to bunk in with someone but now we have the boys we definitely need a place of our own) so we booked a Chalet, then obviously with the husband selfishly moving to Texas he couldn't go after all that. Despite being disappointed I was just going to cancel as there is no way I could do the drive on my own, but the brother got some leave at the last minute and agreed to come along as my "Au Pair" of sorts. Once again I am so pleased that someone else has witness's my little darlings in full swing to see I'm not making it up, after just 3hrs into the journey and we hadn't even hit the M5 Phil announced "I cant do this!"...I nearly laughed my back off, they weren't even being that bad. Still I think he has realised that despite Oscars angelic looks he is maybe possessed, it didn't help that when we stopped over on the way down near Devon, in the middle of the night Phil woke me up to say that Oscar wasn't asleep, which I thought was strange because he wasn't crying but when I looked at his travel cot he was indeed just sitting bolt upright staring at Phil and rattling the car keys which we both still don't even know where he got them from...maybe he does this every night after a little walk on the ceiling, who knows.
It has been really nice to spend some time catching up with family, making new friends and the boys have loved playing with their cousins and all the attention received. We hit really lucky with the weather this year, honestly it could have been the Caribbean which is only fair as the husband was actually working in Trinidad...oh and Gerrard Butler was in his hotel...justice?!. Meanwhile we went to a great Pirate Raft race which is for charity, with a beer tent, food stand and a live band which Archie just LOVED there was a scary moment when in front of hundreds of people he pulled out his tiddler and peed all over the bottom of the stage...but I just pretended he wasn't mine #sorted. He has now started a band though, he's on lead spade "Titar" with his cousin George on Drums also known as a rock and sticks, they have made up two catchy tunes called "Cornflys" and "Ma Baby", just repeat those words constantly and you now know all the lyrics should they get famous. We also had a great beach BBQ with an ingenious sand beer pit that Oscar wouldn't stay away from, I also thoroughly enjoyed a night off at My Aunt and Uncles for a Lobster supper although I may have had too much wine or I dreamed some of the conversation...my lips are sealed! Amongst lots of beach time it was a great but tiring holiday my "Au Pair" did his best but on two occasions he disappeared for 18hrs so we decided to demote him to "Fun Uncle" P45 in the post, he has also confirmed that he "will NOT be having children of his own".....this is probably for the best anyway ha ha.
I cant complain too much though because he without doubt saved our lives on the return journey with his epic driving skills, after the journey started quite normally it just decided to pour with rain the whole way home. Now I don't just mean rain, I'm from Newcastle and I have been to Florida in Monsoon, this was literally like the car was being stotted with Eggs and we were driving through a paddling pool. The particularly hairy moment was when everyone slowed down but two lorry's decided to block us each side causing a tidal way to go over the car, it was so bad that the car lights in front just vanished even though we knew it was still there, I don't know how he kept his cool but we got home safe and I have never been so happy to see my house.
In exchange for not getting into a fatal car crash the universe decided to then give me the day from hell in a trade off...in truth its only fair... but I didn't really appreciate falling down the stairs holding Oscar, or splitting my nail so short its bleeding. I also forgot to open the dishwasher door while away so it was covered/infested with black mould so I put a cleaner thing in and it went AKA leaking bubbles all over the kitchen floor?! Then the kitchen skirting randomly fell off on my toe, even though I only went to Cornwall I think my body was fooled with the looong journey and I felt mega jet lagged so I tried to have a nap when Oscar did but the phone rang only twice that entire day but obviously right then naturally with 15min intervals. The house was also really nice when we got back in the morning but thanks to the kids within 3 hrs. it looked like a bad day in Bosnia, I then went to the shop for some essentials as had less in than Old Mother Hubbard and.... I forgot my purse *awesome*. I was just starting to feel broken so was really looking forward to a lie in the next day, but my babysitter cancelled...luckily I just had a holiday though he he.
Ash x

"Changeover day" This word puts dread into anyone who has experienced it. Basically every Friday and Saturday of the summer where all the holiday homes kick out their residents and get new ones, it means every road both ways into Cornwall is rammed with a sea of roof racks!

"Weaver Fish" a creepy little fish that burrows into the sand and has a spike on its back just poised for a bare foot to stand on and apparently cause agonizing pain.

"Cornish Weather" Now they don't have palm trees because its very snowy so at times its hotter than some places in Europe but it changes its mind quickly with the wettest frizz inducing rain ever known...sometimes for two weeks on end, I look like a Supreme the whole time.
Its all smiles until the Percy pigs run out!


Retro Geeks!


Service Station attire.


As soon as you hit Cornwall.


At last!


Gorgeous Girls!







Super Boys!




Too much fun/beer for Uncle Pip.


Supper View


Don't let Archie loose on First Aid Kit.


 Uncle Pip!






New Best Buds.



 Cousin Love


Blondie's Biscuit Time.







Not even all 52!

Last Drink.



8.22.2013

#Lucky Part 3


Well after such a heavy night the best cure is always some grease and we had arranged a farewell breakfast for Chris going away with my family which was the normal madder than a box of frogs on coke affair. However the best thing ever was Archie who had slept at my Grandparents turned up in the closest thing to what my Granddad was wearing who he worships, including white socks and sandal's! We then had a nice farewell lunch with the husband side, I was mega suffering by then but Archie decided to fall asleep at the table so it must have been catching.
 
 
Craic wasn't all that.

 

It was then unfortunately time to actually say farewell to the husband who has flown out to his new job in Texas ahead of us to get some graft in and sort out a little palace for us. After a slap up breakfast I was actually fine although obviously sad we are not all going together but the boys have been dreadful as if they know and trying to push me to the limit. Oscar has eaten toothpaste, soy sauce and tissues along with trying to walk across the ceiling, I'm glad its not just me though, when I picked him up at nursery his key worker said  he has been giving them a heart attack, climbing on an easel and then climbing on the dining table...and helping two other babies up! "Gang Leader" and "Hell Raiser" was mentioned and honestly if he wasn't leaving I think he would be getting expelled. Archie wasn't to be out done either and literally within hours was nearly sick from having such a bad tantrum in the middle of a car park over why at age 3 he cant drive the car?! This is the problem with having two children though they annoyingly like to do their own thing, Oscar slept through but woke up at 6am, Archie woke up 4 times for various things but slept until 8.30am yesterday....so in an ideal world I could have had a full nights kip and a lie in but no I was up 4 times and then up at 6am *eyes burning*
 
Proper Send Off!
 
 
Why have you taken away my toothpaste?!

 

Anyway its keeping me busy and after I eventually opened my fantastic gift pack from the blogger event Meet at the Mal, I have been flat out with sorting stuff for Texas and packing for our hols to Cornwall which my brother has come along to keep us company and "help". I have to say situations like this really show you who your friends are and I don't mean that in a passive aggressive "some people are so sh*t way" Its just been really nice how my family and friends have been pouring in the offers to babysit etc I feel very lucky. I even managed a cheeky little trip to town for some bits and bobs and managed a solo sushi trip in Fenwick's food hall which was too nice for words. As three yes three pairs of sandal's finally turned up their toes this week I also needed at least one pair, the only thing is if you read 25 things about me! you will know I have size UK9 feet, so its not easy to get shoes but some shops are catching on, however only in the stripper style platform which are ridiculous, can you tell me do you think a person with size 9 is going to be 5ft?!
 
Love a freebie.
 

 
Really?!

 

In all seriousness I'm a bit knackered having to now do everything on my own and I'm embarrassed to say  I didn't even know which day was bin day or who the car insurance is with....well that's the husbands job. I'm very flattered but even though people know I'm going to Texas I keep getting asked to do cakes and learnt a very important lesson this week after trying to take on too much on, I was up til 2am ironing and packing to come away. The next day whilst sitting shattered Archie had some love hearts and he handed me one and it said "Just say no!" so if that's not a sign I don't know what is and to clarify I'm not taking anymore cake orders on, I finished my last order on Wednesday which was actually a pleasure to do for a lovely footy mad couple but that's the last one.
 

 

So that's it we are missing Daddy but we are enjoying the rest of our Cornish trip.

Ash x

8.13.2013

#Lucky Part 2 #TigerTiger #Early30th


Well for much of the year there has been a debate on what I should do for my 30th Birthday in September, there was talk of a Party, a trip to Iceland....don't ask...a trip to London, Cream tea somewhere "Posh" amongst others and to be fair after two children I just fancied clubbing all the money together and having a boob job but that's by the by. Anyway it was decided by the husband that I would be having a little party which is strange because he is usually against all social interaction, but that was it, we booked a little doo and literally the next day he got approached with his new job in Texas; so the party could have gone on but we wouldn't have been there!

8.11.2013

#Lucky Part 1.


As you can imagine this week has been extra crazy and stressful which I seriously didn't think was even possible in our house hold, and truthfully several times I thought my nose might just start to randomly bleed or MTV might could call to offer us a show, it was so ridiculous and at one particular moment I was hoping to experience my first seizure just so I could lie down without being bothered or asked for something.

Now one of the nice things about Chris starting a new job is he had this week off with us, I'm thinking he isn't as glad anymore but welcome to my world Babe! It really has been the best thing that could happen to our marriage because he gets to see what " The Brothers Grim" are really like when he is off work but he is usually gone by 7am, so he misses Oscars new trick of free falling out of his highchair (the reigns are broken) 8 times before we have even made weetibix and Archie's 3341 questions before the toast has even popped. Then when he returns at 6ish he is fun time Frankie, the kids are sick to death of my very face so he is God and isn't bath and bedtime the best part of the day anyway?! So he hasn't always understood why I'm ageing faster than a peeled banana and more sarcastic than Jack Dee....until now.

It started with the stress of all stress....Dolly the Caravan. We decided to take her away for few nights proper family time, so got her out of storage cleaned up and packed which took a few hours, then the husband realised her battery was dead! Now this is fine while your away but it means the mover doesn't work which if you don't know is the most amazing thing; it makes the caravan remote control. I can hear you experienced Vanners scoffing because you will be able to park your caravan without one but WE can't yet, so imagine filling your car with bricks, taking of the hand break and trying to move it off the drive, turn it around and park it etc. So at 11am we weren't going anymore...then we were bickering and Archie wanted to go so finally decided at 4pm to go, after pulling Dolly off the drive, she came rolling off faster than Usain Bolt smacked me into the road (don't even know why I got the front!)and missed the neighbours wall by 2inchs, we then got going to the lakes...I just walked off the internal bleeding. After a huge traffic jam, stopping for petrol and food...yeah we are that organised...we arrived at about 7pm, got Dolly parked 1st time, unpacked, there was 8 little boys playing on the green in front so didn't even see Archie's dust and I could just about taste the wine when the heavens opened for Monsoon. It was typical but the best was yet to come when I took Oscar inside and realised there was rain ..inside... Looked up and the sun roof had blown clean off somewhere on the M6! After a lot of pan holding, towels, bin bags and tape it wasn't holding so we had to pack up and come home.... 6hr round trip, Archie was hysterical and we were up a ladder at midnight with a Paddling pool and bricks; Just found out its £470 to fix as well!

My particular favourite moment though was only last night and it wouldn't have been nearly as perfect if he hadn't had the week in "tot-centration camp" first but he was ironing his shirt to go out -previously a bone of contention anyway "why can't you just iron while the kids play quietly"...I will if that ever happens, promise-  and Oscar god love him decided to show Daddy exactly why by firstly violently rocking the ironing board, then getting bored he started pulling the iron wire nearly doing that scene from "Home Alone" and finally when he seemed to calm down Chris started to happily iron shirt only to realise that Oscar was sat below wiping his nose on the pocket and chewing the other sleeve...I thought Chris might cry for 2nd time in his life he he heeee. I really cant remember Archie being like this, if there's a pile of new toys on the right and a pile of sweets on the left and somewhere in the house a knife is hidden Oscar is going for the knife, it's so bad we have had to childproof the utility room and buy a baby gate to go over the door so we now have a little cage of sorts to put him in for shower times etc.
It hasn't been all bad though, we did manage to have a very nice day at Beamish largest Museum in the country if you didn't know, even if Archie wasn't that impressed and kept asking "Is this it?!" He did perk up when we went into the Mine though shooting his hand up and asking in front of a crowd "Where you go for a poo?!"
To be continued.......
Not sure who this gate is for cos the "Mam" only looks 12!


 Beamish!

Best part of the day, Lunch!

Excited much?!

Amen Sister, see real Mams have been around for years!

Ashlie xox

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